Appropriately Ridiculous
by CatrinaSL
Summary: Another in the Silly Words for the Silly Soul(mate fic) series. Suddenly Bruce found himself right next to them without any memory of having crossed the room. He took a deep breath to calm himself. "There's nothing more attractive to another human than asking their consent and respecting the answer," he said. "You would want that kind of respect yourself, wouldn't you?"
**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Marvel Cinematic Universe. If I did, Darcy would probably be in every movie.

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Bruce looked up from his calculations when he saw her walk in. She was laden with coffee, as always, and it made him smile a little. She had never asked what he liked but brought different things every time, and he'd enjoyed every single one. He wasn't sure if it was because the coffee was actually good or it was the suspension bridge effect: the pretty girl bringing it to him.

He shifted his weight and decided that today, he'd work up the courage to say thank you. Asking her if he could buy _her_ a cup sometime would take another month or two, but he didn't mind waiting. He didn't jump wildly into things anymore.

He watched her make her way across the room, stopping to talk with one of his assistants before rolling her eyes as the tech from the other side of the lab approached her. She didn't like him, but either he couldn't see it or didn't care. At first, Bruce hadn't minded eavesdropping on the lab tech's attempts to flirt, because he learned little things about her: she was Doctor Foster's assistant, she didn't have to be here giving coffee to everyone and was just doing it out of the goodness of her heart, and she did not like Piña Coladas or getting caught in the rain.

Today, the tech put his hand on her shoulder. He asked her if she only made commercial deliveries or if she could deliver herself to his apartment that evening, clothing optional.

"Dude," she said, backing away from his touch. "I'm only gonna say this once: no. No means no. If you touch me again without my permission, you will not enjoy what follows."

The tech laughed and stepped closer to her.

Suddenly Bruce found himself right next to them without any memory of having crossed the room. This was dangerous territory. He took a deep breath to calm himself.

When he opened his eyes, everyone in the room was looking up at him with different levels of alarm. He ignored this and addressed the lab tech.

"There's nothing more attractive to another human than asking their consent and respecting the answer," he said calmly. "You would want that kind of respect yourself, wouldn't you?"

The tech didn't answer, he only shook slightly in fright.

"Besides," Bruce added, pointing to the shoulder bag that Doctor Foster's assistant had reached into, "I'm pretty sure she's got a taser."

Silence stretched itself over the room.

Bruce felt himself relaxing, and a few moments later he reached out, took the tech's coffee, and helped himself to a sip.

Two assistants on the other side of the room started whispering, so Bruce decided he'd made his point, and retreated back to his work space. As soon as he turned his back, the tech broke and ran, actually ran, from the room. Bruce grimaced. He'd probably hear about that one from HR.

The rest of the room slowly got moving, turning their attention back to their work.

All except Doctor Foster's assistant.

She approached him with what Bruce noticed was no small amount of awe. He tried to pay attention to his work, but found his eyes darting to her as she reached his side.

Finally, he knew it would be rude if he didn't at least acknowledge her presence. When he turned toward her, she found her voice.

"That was the sexiest thing I've ever seen anyone do or say. You are awesome!" she declared, and held out a fist for bumping.

Bruce complied, then took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Well," he told her, "this is appropriately ridiculous."

His Soulmate's hand flew to her mouth and she stared at him for a moment before doing a little dance of excitement. "Oh my god!"

Bruce smiled a little at that, and nodded.

She grabbed his arm and tugged on it. "Hang on; what did I even say?"

He cleared his throat. "You told me I was awesome and called me sexy. It's been a pretty nice confidence booster, so thank you."

She was still jubilantly excited. "You earned it!" she insisted.

"I had no idea how I was going to," he admitted with a laugh.

"Wow, okay!" She turned, pulled her long dark hair away from her right shoulder, and wiggled a little. "If you just pull my collar down a little you'll be able to see it," she instructed.

Bruce cast a look around the room. They were mostly unobserved, but he didn't think it was a good idea for anyone to see him touching her, given the recent scene. "Uh..." he hesitated.

"Just a little," she said with a laugh, "it won't get R-rated, I promise you."

He slipped a finger over the edge of her shirt and peeked, and sure enough, there were the words he had said, just over her shoulder blade, in his scratchy handwriting.

She bounced and turned. "Let's see it!" she insisted.

Bruce shifted his weight, a blush threatening to take over his entire body. "It's... uh..."

"Come on!" she pressed. "I showed you mine, you show me yours!"

He cleared his throat again. "It's on my leg," he told her.

She cast a glance over his lower half, then raised her eyebrow. "Not on your ankle, then?" she guessed.

Bruce looked anywhere but at her. "A little higher than that," he hinted.

"So, like, I wouldn't see it unless you wore a Speedo?"

Bruce's silence was answer enough, and to his surprise, she burst out into peals of laughter. "Okay, well," she managed to gasp out between giggles, "I guess I'll believe you for now."

He blushed slightly at her amusement, then gave reassuring looks to anyone who turned to watch her laugh.

When she finally wound down, she let out a long breath and looked up at him.

"So is this the part where we live happily ever after?" she asked, slipping one of her hands into his.

He smiled, and gave it a slight squeeze. "You know, I think it is."

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 **Author's Note (March 20th, 2016):** Thanks for reading! You can always check out the Silly Words series on ao3, or my blog iwillwriteyourfic DOT blogspot DOT com, or my tumblr catrinasl, or the twitter Stella  & I share AT CoAwesomeness.


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